5 Life-Changing Psychology Lessons From 5 Best Books of All Time

Learning to choose is hard. Learning to choose well is harder. And learning to choose well in a world of unlimited possibilities is harder still, perhaps too hard.

5 Life-Changing Psychology Lessons From 5 Best Books of All Time
Photo by Robina Weermeijer on Unsplash

Valuable lessons to change your life.

I like observing people, understanding their behavior, learning about myself, and discovering what influences my personality.

That’s why psychology always piqued my interest.

If you want to become emotionally intelligent, build strong connections, learn the art of persuasion, and make better decisions in life, here are my five favorite psychology books for you.

Grab your coffee and be ready to become your highest version with these five books.

1. Thinking Fast And Slow by Daniel Kahneman

Image: Goodreads

Do you know that our mind uses two types of mechanisms for decision-making- namely fast and slow?

These two systems constantly try to overpower each other and control our behavior.

Thinking Fast And Slow teaches how to utilize these two systems to the fullest and make clear judgments. The faster one is intuitive and emotional while the slower system is more logical.

The book discusses the unique abilities and faults in the fast way of thinking. It also reveals where we can’t rely on intuition alone and make use of slow thinking.

Thinking Fast And Slow is my favorite psychology book. It helped me tap into the power of my conscious and automatic systems of thinking.

The biggest takeaway from the book

Our brain is designed to be lazy to manage most tasks smartly and with minimal effort. This may inhibit you from reaching your full potential or intelligence.

Learn how to regulate between intuition and deliberation, and control your thinking process. This control helps avoid mental blocks that arise in decision-making that might get you in trouble.

My favorite quotes from Thinking Fast And Slow by Daniel Kahneman

“Intelligence is not only the ability to reason; it is also the ability to find relevant material in memory and to deploy attention when needed.”
“We are prone to overestimate how much we understand about the world and to underestimate the role of chance in events.”

2. Influence by Robert Cialdini

Image: Goodreads

Have you ever wondered why is it so hard to say no to some people?

Do they know some secret formula to influence others?

If you want to learn the art of persuasion and how to avoid being manipulated, then Influence is worth reading for you. This book is the result of evidence-based research on what makes some people irresistible and persuasive. It reveals six universal rules for becoming a skilled persuader and protecting yourself from manipulation.

The principles given in this psychology book have greatly helped me communicate effortlessly and get things done. I liked the way the author presented the science of human behavior with relatable examples.

The biggest takeaway from the book

If we have to compete with others to get what we want, our desire to get it increases disproportionately. This is the biggest reason why social pressure spurs indecisive clients to hurry up and buy items they might not even need.

My favorite quotes from Influence by Robert Cialdini

“A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.”
“Often we don’t realize that our attitude toward something has been influenced by the number of times we have been exposed to it in the past.”

3. Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

Image: Goodreads

Emotional Intelligence is a groundbreaking discovery that has completely changed the concept of how we measure success.

Now, having a high IQ doesn’t guarantee success, but combining the power of the rational and emotional brain does.

Emotionally intelligent people not only thrive in their personal life but in their professional life too. Although your EQ is developed based on your childhood experiences, it can be nurtured over time if you follow the tips given in this book.

Emotional Intelligence explains how you can develop self-awareness, self-discipline, empathy, and learn to regulate your emotions. Having high EQ can also benefit your health, relationships, and career.

Emotional Intelligence is an insightful book that explains every aspect of human emotion from the course of evolution and the five best EQ skills to develop.

The biggest takeaway from the book

An emotionally intelligent person can detect emotions, manage them, remain grateful and optimistic, show empathy, and handle relationships well.

I personally liked the simple tips like counting to ten for the rational brain to kick in, breathing slowly to regulate over-emotion, and how to control your reaction to a situation.

My favorite quotes from Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

“In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels”
“People’s emotions are rarely put into words, far more often they are expressed through other cues. The key to intuiting another’s feelings is in the ability to read nonverbal channels, tone of voice, gesture, facial expression and the like”
“There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse.”

4. Attached by Dr. Amir Levine

Image: Goodreads

If you understand your attachment style, you can greatly improve your relationships and effectively communicate your needs to your partner.

Attached is a thoroughly researched book on the psychology of relationships that can make you emotionally fulfilled and help you heal your inner wounds.

According to the attachment theory, a person behaves in either of these three ways in a relationship-

  • anxious,
  • avoidant, or
  • secure.

Anxious types constantly seek their partner’s validation and become insecure if there’s a communication gap.

Avoidant attachment types fear losing their freedom in relationships and avoid intimacy.

Secure types are the best to be with as they’re comfortable being emotionally vulnerable and love openly.

So which one are you?

The biggest takeaway from the book

Humans are dependent creatures who need connections to live a happy life. Understanding how you deal with others and the science behind love is important for making meaningful connections.

Effective communication is the most important element of a happy relationship. Attached taught me how to make fulfilling connections and grow as a person. If you want to learn more about your attachment style, then give the book a read.

My favorite quotes from the Attached by Dr. Amir Levine

“In a true partnership, both partners view it as their responsibility to ensure the other’s emotional well-being.”
“If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, find the right person to depend on and travel down it with that person.”
“People with a secure attachment style know how to communicate their own expectations and respond to their partner’s needs effectively without having to resort to protest behavior.”

5. The Paradox Of Choice by Barry Schwartz

Image: Goodreads

Decision-making becomes overwhelming and difficult due to thousands of choices or information sources.

The Paradox Of Choice explains why the abundance of options leads to poor decision-making and comprises our emotional well-being.

We live in an era where everything is evolving rapidly, including technology, science, work culture, and fashion. This can lead to dissatisfaction, self-doubt, anxiety, and even depression in some cases. This book teaches how to deal with this paralysis in decision-making.

The biggest takeaway from the book

The Paradox Of Choice was an eye-opener that helped me understand the psychology of ‘why more is less’. The book offers practical advice on how to make the right choices and stay satisfied with the choices you make.

It shifted my mindset from ‘more is good’ to sorting a few best choices.

My favorite quotes from The Paradox Of Choice by Barry Schwartz

“Learning to choose is hard. Learning to choose well is harder. And learning to choose well in a world of unlimited possibilities is harder still, perhaps too hard.”
“We are surrounded by modern, time-saving devices, but we never seem to have enough time.”

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