Lessons in Love

Relationship advice I wish someone had given me when I was a teenager

If you are confused about something, ask: You see your crush staring back at you — so much, that the two of you end up making eye contact several times a day.

Do they love me too? you ask yourself.

Do you think they have a crush on me? you ask your best friends.

I have seen my crush staring back at me several times a day. Does it mean they like me? you ask on social media.

But do you know who is that one person who can give you the best and the most reliable answer to this question?

It is them — your crush. Do not trust any other person who claims to know the answer unless it comes from their own mouth.

I know it sounds daunting.

I know there’s a chance they might deny even knowing you.

I know you’ll lose all your ‘pride’ and if they reject you, there’s a chance you might become the laughing stock of the school.

But even then, just go ahead and ask. You can start by smiling and befriending them, asking them what their hobbies are. In fact, you don’t even need to explicitly state you have a crush on them — all you need is to spend some time together, be their friend and find out what kind of a person they are.

That way, even if the crush fades away later, you would have won yourself a friend.

When you’re in love, your world does not need to revolve around your partner: Yes, you can have other friends. Your partner can have other friends too — even of the opposite gender. Especially of the opposite gender.

You can have other hobbies, not spend all your waking hours together and still forge a healthy relationship based on trust and mutual respect rather than clingy, needy love.

Your teenage years are the perfect time to learn some skills and build an identity for yourself. It’s always better if your identity is independent of the one you love.

That way — you will still be someone once (if?) the love goes away.

If it hurts like hell, breathe. Give yourself time to let your soul wash away the pain. I know it feels impossible now, but you will find love again.

The world is a huge place with so many loving, caring and compassionate people in it. You will go to college one day, have a job and a completely different set of friends. Right now, with the one person you had loved with all your heart gone from your life, it feels as if everything has come to an end — as if there is no hope for a better future at all. That you had given them so much, that there is nothing left in your ravaged soul to give to someone new.

But trust me, you will heal; the pain shall pass.

There will be someone else who will make your heart skip a beat with their mischievous smile, who will make your world flutter with happiness to the tune of their words.

There will be someone else, and you will find a love better than this one.

Till then, don’t give up, dear brave soul.

Keep pushing on — for it is only the journey that is difficult. The destination is more beautiful than your wildest dreams.

You only need to hold yourself together till then.

Author’s note: I come from a country where Medium hasn’t introduced the Partner Program yet. So if you liked this post, you might consider buying me a beer.

I’m excited to share this with you — I recently published my first book Stolen Reflections: Some stories are told in verse. It is a collection of hand-picked poems and short prose, available in both paperback and e-book formats worldwide. If you like what I write, go ahead and give this book a read. ❤